8/28/13

I'm here, and still alive!

It took us 11  hours to get to camp.  We were expecting that, but didn't know what it would be like.  It wasn't too bad.  We drove the speed limit, and were Very careful.  About half the time was getting from our house to gate road, and the other half was waiting in line to get in, and then an excruciating 4 mile drive at 4mph to get to camp proper.

After that we set up camp in the dark and went to sleep.  I saw So many amazing things that night.  The art cars people manage to get out here are amazing.

Once we got Into the tent and settled ,  Sheldon looked at his phone and said there was no phone, data, or wifi.  It's pretty silly, but that was the thing that tripped my anxiety!  All of a sudden I felt very very alone and disconnected.  When we came in I got a sense of the size of this place.  It's gigantic.  It's 4-10 times the size I imagined it to be.  The city of Davis near where I live had about 50,000 people in it when I lived there.  This is bigger.  Going from one end to the other is miles.  I got
agoraphobic and spent a few minutes shivering, but since then I've been fine.

We did spend the first 36 hours close to camp.  We had to move our car way out, and the bathrooms are far enough I have to bike to them, so that's as far as we went.

Last night we took a walk out to the man.  It's actually more impressive from farther away, but we got to climb up into the base and see the city from a bit higher up.  All in all it was pretty neat and we saw a few art installations on the way.

This morning we went visiting.  We biked across the playa to center camp and camp Nosefish to see Howard and Franziska.  Next time we'll bring some cash and get some coffee.

Altaira scored tix for us for the motorized art tour in the morning, that should be awesome.  Tonight we're headed to a Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog Sing Along.

We're camped next to a camp called Playa Skool, which seems to be what people call a plug and play camp.  People pay a lot of money to show up and have their food and housing needs provided.  Last night they had a HUGE club which blasted 94 db of unfortunately generic music .  Sleeping in it was oddly easy.

It's tomorrow, huh.

We're just about to load the car, and I'm still in denial.  By this time tomorrow I should be at Burning Man and will have rung the bell and made the dust angel and all that.  This. Time. Tomorrow.  To quote the classic Fifty Shades of Grey, "Hoe Lee Crap!"

I don't quite know exactly what to expect, so I'm a little scared.  I'm excited, with trepidation.  My only goal really is to experience the thing, and to just be.  It's also the first week since 2005 that I'll be away from BOTH my parental duties and my career duties.   It feels incredibly weird to not have those responsibilities.

I have some thoughts on how my life has already changed this year in getting ready for Burning Man.  It's been transformative.  But, I'll have to leave that for another time if I'm not going to be up all night loading the car.

I am going to try and blog from the playa, but I may not if it doesn't fit into the experience I'm having.

Bye!

Ergh

Finished almost all the shopping tonight.  I'm exhausted.  My feet hurt just from that.  I'm worried by the time we get to the playa I'll be immobile from working so much to get ready.  Then I'm worried I'll be miserable and all this will have been for nothing.  I don't really think I'll be miserable though.  I think it will be an experience. Even if I'm exhausted when I get there and don't explore or anything for a couple days there will be enough time for exploring.  I do not have to cram the whole thing in.  I do not need to worry that I will miss something.  I'll miss a lot of things and that's ok.

Huh, I wrote myself into a better mood.

I also had a noontime appointment with my therapist, in which we decided to talk about the history of the abuse I've had and all that.  I hadn't talked about it in a long time.  I've been out of that situation for nine years now, and the details of what it was like are kind of fading.  I was able to dredge up enough of the pertinent facts for her to get the picture, but it was really oddly like describing what happened to a character in a book I read once.  In any case it was weird.  I think I'd rather have NOT dredged it up enough so that I'm going to carry it to the playa with me.  Maybe I'll see if I can't symbolically leave it there somehow.

I had a bit of a crying jag this evening over something silly and frustrating.  Now I realize though that I guess I probably needed one!

For more hard (but not as hard as today please!) days until we're on the road.

So Much Stuff!

The house is strewn with stuff.  The card table in the living room is full of tools and electrical stuff from putting the solar panel battery charging system together.  There are bags EVERYWHERE.  Ziplock bags full of batteries and toiletries and stuff that's been bought and stuff that needs to be packed.  I'm beginning to doubt that all this stuff is going to fit in the car.  

I think I need to do more about food, and quickly, lest we be eating whatever cans we grabbed out of the backs of the cupboards and bagged snacks.  I'm not going to be into cooking while I'm there though.  Normally I love to cook, but I've never camped anywhere that didn't have water, and that's really daunting to me.  I think I should bake cookies this week.  I wonder if there's any sort of tasty but non-oaty people-chow type cookie I could make that'd be good.  Off to google!

I have shoes!

Boots actually, like army boots, which I've definitely seen worn with dresses...by River on Firefly at least, oh, and also River Song, so it definitely works for people called River.  They were much more expensive than the $10 I usually spend on shoes.  They seem like the kind that you get resoled and wear forever though, and they're VERY comfortable.

I've been really worried about shoes.  I do NOT wear enclosed shoes even in winter.  It doesn't get cold enough here to need them, and as a result my feet feel weirdly hot and claustrophobic in shoes.  I'll be wearing these and breaking them in pretty much every day until Burning Man though, so I guess I'll be getting used to the feeling of 'em.

One more dress arrived too, so I have three dresses, one pair of pants, three pair of bloomers suitable for under dresses, and two pairs of bloomers which are goofy and ruffly.  I meant these to be for under dresses too, but they add a couple inches to my butt and thighs which is the last place I need those inches.  I might wear the bloomers as outerwear instead though if I get brave enough.

I haven't talked about food and exercise in a while.  Everything got so crazy at work I was sometimes grabbing fast food three times a day, no bueno.  Also, exercise would either cut into work or sleep time, so I wasn't doing that either.  I'm going to re-start exercising in the gym at work three times a week.  I definitely notice a significant change after just a week or two and every little bit of stamina I can get is going to help.

Still here!

Hi blog!  I've missed you!  I've been in a work tailspin until today.  Burning Man stuff is coming together!  We've taken delivery on things like goggles and face masks, clothes for me, a bike for Sheldon.  We have a tent!  I'm pleased with the fact it has a hinged door, very fancy!  We have non-moopy insulating material to stick between the rain fly and the tent and twenty strong spring clamps to hold it together.  We have baby wipes, plastic bags, and sunscreen, and a bunch more.

Two things at the forefront of my mind that I haven't gotten yet are shoes and cool weather night clothing.  I have no idea what sort of clothes people wear at night.  I'll have to look at some photos and figure out what I need.  I have no idea about shoes.  I need something that fits and is really comfortable but doesn't look stupid with dresses.  The comfort is most important but I hope I can manage it without looking stupid.

One thing I'm really self conscious about is making newbie mistakes and embarrassing myself, or getting jumped on by people for doing something wrong.  I'm spending a lot of energy worrying about this.  I don't want to be "that couple" who got out there and was unprepared, or couldn't deal.

Yo Bloggiddy! (Did I already do that one?)

August!  OMG freak out.  I have been working when I'm not sleeping.  I have to work today too.  I have a training class in SF Monday and Tuesday.  I'm driving up Sunday for that.  When am I prepping for Burning Man?

My healthy eating has gone out the window and I feel pretty awful!  I need to strive for proper sustenance and at least SOME exercise so I can have enough energy to do what  need to do.  Last night we went out for dinner and I had pho.  That's pretty healthy for a meal out, and cheap too!  I probably could have done without the mocha boba drink, but yum.

Clothes.  I'm afraid Ted's right.  Oh how I hate to admit that, but I dug a tube top dress out of the closet and have been wearing the heck out of it.  Here's the thing:  It's my boobs y'all.  I usually wear very good bras to make them look proportional to my size, but they're actually pretty small, and the opposite of perky.  With this tube dress I always had to wear this complex and frankly slightly rubbery and uncomfortable strapless bra.  I've been wearing it without a bra lately though, and it's really cool and comfortable.  If I get a couple more of them and some bike shorts or bloomers for underneath I should be OK.  Burning Man's an appropriate place to go braless right?

I still have no idea about shoes.  I don't wear closed shoes summer or winter.  I would be much happier of I could wear Birkenstocks (birkies and no bra, sexy! not) and make up some sort of regimen to keep my feet healthy.  I'm thinking I might try this and also bring my regular exercise tennies and socks, in case I fail at keeping my feet happy.  Let me know if y'all think this is a horrifying idea.

Sheldon's designed a dust box for my c-pap machine.  I'm going to let him run with that, because I have too much work!  <3 Sheldon