Ergh

Finished almost all the shopping tonight.  I'm exhausted.  My feet hurt just from that.  I'm worried by the time we get to the playa I'll be immobile from working so much to get ready.  Then I'm worried I'll be miserable and all this will have been for nothing.  I don't really think I'll be miserable though.  I think it will be an experience. Even if I'm exhausted when I get there and don't explore or anything for a couple days there will be enough time for exploring.  I do not have to cram the whole thing in.  I do not need to worry that I will miss something.  I'll miss a lot of things and that's ok.

Huh, I wrote myself into a better mood.

I also had a noontime appointment with my therapist, in which we decided to talk about the history of the abuse I've had and all that.  I hadn't talked about it in a long time.  I've been out of that situation for nine years now, and the details of what it was like are kind of fading.  I was able to dredge up enough of the pertinent facts for her to get the picture, but it was really oddly like describing what happened to a character in a book I read once.  In any case it was weird.  I think I'd rather have NOT dredged it up enough so that I'm going to carry it to the playa with me.  Maybe I'll see if I can't symbolically leave it there somehow.

I had a bit of a crying jag this evening over something silly and frustrating.  Now I realize though that I guess I probably needed one!

For more hard (but not as hard as today please!) days until we're on the road.