Discouraging!

I've been being careful to stay within my points all week, and I even counted the heavy food I had in San Francisco Saturday, all definitely within my points.  I accidentally put my weight watchers activity monitor into assessment mode, so I didn't get ANY activity points this week, so I had none to "eat" despite being plenty active.  Yesterday when I got on the scale I was 5 pounds UP from last week, and today at weigh-in I was up 2.5 pounds from last week.  I know it's just me retaining water and stuff, and perhaps I was a bit dehydrated last week when I weighed in.  It's still discouraging though to see anti-results when I worked so hard this week.

I'm not sure what it does to the health rewards payment program either.  If I said I'd lose a pound a week for 12 weeks and I fork up the very first week, I don't know if that means I'm "out."  Probably not for the whole series, but maybe for this month.  Poop.

Right now I'm struggling to not get a candy bar.  I want to save my points for dinner but I've got a bunch of dollar bills in my wallet and the evil vending machine is right over there...  I'm not going to, but I really want to as a way to get revenge.  "I didn't lose any weight, so I'm going to eat this effing candy bar, that'll show 'em."  Show who?  I know, it's absolute nonsense and totally self defeating, but I still feel that way. 

I don't feel hungry right now, but I feel kind of empty, and it feels like food will fill me up, even though it won't.