An Introduction

Hi!  Welcome to the third blog I’ve started.  Hopefully I won’t abandon it as soon as I did the others!  This blog has a bit more purpose though.  I’ve wanted to go to the Burning Man festival for years, and I’ve picked this year to finally do it.  I have a few stumbling blocks though, and I want to keep my Burning Man goal in mind for the next eight months in hopes of overcoming my issues and actually a) make it to Burning Man, and b) have an enjoyable time being at Burning Man and participating in the community.

My biggest issue is my weight.  Right now I’m 286 lbs.  I’m only 5’3” tall, so I’m a BIG girl.  I don’t usually talk about my efforts to lose weight.  I’m not quite sure why, so I am now.  I’ve been on Weight Watchers since August, and when I work the program it works great.  Sometime around Thanksgiving though I stopped counting my points and gained back all but two pounds of the weight I lost.  Boo!  I’ve been back on the program for 3 weeks now (it wasn’t a resolution, it just worked out that way) and I’ve lost almost all of what I’ve gained over the holidays.

What does this have to do with Burning Man?  Well right now I have to sleep with an apnea machine.  If I don’t I stop breathing and wake myself up dozens of times a night.  I get up in the morning miserable and exhausted.  The machine is high wattage too, so it wouldn’t be feasible to take it into the desert with a deep cycle battery.  It would drain the battery in less than one night.  My apnea is because I have a big fat neck.  It goes away when I get below about 260.

In addition, I’m quite out of shape, so even if I didn’t have apnea I don’t think I could have much fun at Burning Man.  Right now just walking a mile makes my feet hurt, and standing for a long time makes my back hurt.  I can’t tolerate heat either.  I’m so well insulated my body doesn’t cool itself very efficiently and moving around in the heat makes me feel ill. 

My second biggest issue is that I have anxiety disorder along with a touch of PTSD sprinkled in.  For everyday activities I do really well.  I’m on a medication which takes the daily anxiety away without dulling my mind.  Big things like Burning Man are harder though.  Thinking about having to get tickets, gather everything we need for a week in the desert, and find ways to make myself useful to the community is overwhelming, and that doesn’t even count the anxiety I have about actually going and being there!  Hopefully I’ll be able to use this blog to help get me through it all.

I have a few other smaller stumbling blocks as well.  I have a 10 year old daughter with special needs and a full time job.  Between the two of those and sleeping, 90% of my time is already taken up.  My dear long-suffering husband gets some of the additional 10%, much less than he deserves, and I do have a fondness for sitting and chilling in front of the computer for a couple hours each night.  I’m an introvert, so sitting quietly really helps me relax and recharge.  As such, integrating the preparation for an event as big as Burning Man is going to be difficult at best.  I hope if you’re reading this that you’ll continue to read and cheer me on.  I’ll need all the help I can get.